Mother’s Day Can Be Complicated

Mother’s Day can be wonderful for some folks. I know some people who are just SO excited to see their moms from a porch-to-sidewalk distance this Mother’s Day just to be able to see them while maintaining physical distancing.

Then there are those who have a different relationship with Mother’s Day.

There are so many reasons.

  • Some have mothers who aren’t well, or mothers who have transitioned to post-physical (have “passed away”).
  • Others’ moms are just no longer in their lives; this lack of presence can look and feel different depending on the reasons.
  • So many people have heartbreaks as mothers (and partners of mothers) themselves, having lost children due to miscarriage or other traumatic reasons.
  • Others never knew their mom.
  • Still others have experienced impacts to their parental relationships (to their own parents, or as parents themselves) due to changes in their family structure (divorce, death, other absence).
  • Still others were abused (like I was), or neglected by their mothers.
  • And then it can become more complicated for those who experience a combination of these circumstances.

It’s complicated

I’ve seen some refer to their relationships with their moms as “complicated”.

My own experience? Perhaps it would be more socially acceptable to say it was complicated, but there was nothing complicated about it.

The person who gave birth to me abused me. Every day. It wasn’t good. I was never safe around her. I did not experience nurturing, protection, love, compassion, support or those other characteristics that adorn Mother’s Day cards. 

Why am I telling you this?

I’m sharing this for two reasons.

First, I’m very open about my lived experience. Keeping things in the shadows is how violence is perpetuated, the whole reason the #metoo movement matters.

Second, and more relevant to this weekend, because I want you to know you’re not alone if Mother’s Day feels hard!

Not only that, but you can still make it a day for you that is fully inclusive of you in a positive and uplifting way. 

Tomorrow I’ll post a Tarot spread that doubles as journaling prompts to support and uplift you, no matter what your experience has been with mothering. So stay tuned for that.

If you’d like to see some other spreads I’ve created, scroll through these posts here on the blog or on my Instagram (and follow me there too!).

You can also download a soothing meditation here.

Blessings and empowerment to you.

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