That “Non-Issue” Isn’t Even The Tip Of The Iceberg

Here’s a question and answer coming from a previous post about the bad advice people sometimes give to “just ignore it.” The bottom line? What SEEMS like a super small thing to you is not EVEN the tip of the iceberg.

Someone directly asked me some questions about my post from yesterday on being careful about giving “just ignore it” advice. I’m sharing my thoughts here, since if one person asks a question, others usually have the same one!

The questions are different but my thoughts are actually the same.

Q1) Why would someone share about something bad that happened to them with someone who wouldn’t really care?

Q2) Sure, direct verbal or written threats are understandably serious, but what if it wasn’t actually a big thing that happened and they’re just overreacting?

My thoughts – If someone you know who is Othered has been courageous enough to share with you something negative that has happened to them, and you think what they’re sharing is not a big deal…

…you may want to ask yourself how you are presenting yourself to this person.

Have you been behaving like a friend? Do you call yourself an ally?

If someone who is othered shares something with you, they are taking the risk of being betrayed by a response from you that is anything other than truly empathetic or supportive.

And they’re taking this risk because they don’t have the leisure of defining the issue as “no big deal.”

And they know it’s a risk they’re taking. But we do often want to believe that people are noticing the systemic symptoms we are experiencing day in, day out. We want to feel seen.

What you think may seem to be a “nothing” or “insignificant” comment – isn’t so small to the othered person sharing it with you.

This one comment they shared is just one in a tidal wave of the same sentiment they’re subjected to every single day. It wears on our hearts, minds and bodies.

So even if the incident they share with you seems like “no big deal,” please remember it’s not even the tip of the iceberg.

Something to consider the next time you may catch yourself having the thought that concerns raised by an othered person are “no big deal.”

And thanks to the person who directly asked me the questions!

You can find more posts like this over here. If you enjoy the spiritual side of personal development, you might enjoy these posts here. Or, if you love Tarot, check out this beautiful indie Tarot deck I created.

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