One of the fastest ways to test a relationship or organization on whether they truly value diverse experiences and spiritual practices? Talk about spiritual abilities. It’s a great filter for whether people are truly openminded and also informed on other belief systems that have existed (and continue to exist) globally across many faiths and cultures.
A few years ago, if you’d told me I’d be sharing this post today, I would have thought you were completely off your rocker. And then I would have been completely freaked out. This post doesn’t include intuitive tools; in it, I am instead sharing a bit of how I discovered my mediumship abilities, and what it was like to “come out” as a medium.
Some people might be feeling a lot of discomfort about this topic. If you haven’t already, I suggest you first read this other post on how to read material that you may find fantastic or otherwise dramatically different from your usual reading material.
Discovery
About a year and a half ago, I started feeling scared to go to the bathroom overnight. It kept feeling like I could see—in my mind’s eye, not with my physical eyes—a cloaked figure at the end of the hallway opposite the bathroom at night. After about a month of this, I asked someone I knew who was a healer. They tuned in and told me that it wasn’t just in my head, there was in fact a dead person there, and that I needed to pray on behalf of the person.
I was entirely frightened. I kept thinking of the movie The Sixth Sense. But then I really thought about it, and realized this dead person was in such a place of anger, and I could help him by praying for him.
So I did. I didn’t know what to expect, but I figured it couldn’t really get that much worse than having an angry dead person being all angsty when all I wanted to do was use the bathroom. I prayed. I stood in the spot where the guy would stand, and even though it felt like he was getting all angry and worked up, I stood my ground and I prayed to the divine. Not for the person to leave, but for the person to receive the healing and help that he clearly needed. For the person to be taken to a place of healing. And then he was gone.
My adrenaline was going and I was a bit shaky, but I felt good knowing that I’d helped someone who had gone what was clearly years and years in desperate need of help. I now know that because of his anger, he was blocking himself from receiving the loving help that was already available to him. But more on that later.
For the next few months, I would regularly see post-physical people in my mind’s eye. I started reading lots of books on what it means to have spiritual sight. Reading about the experience of other mediums was an education, but they also all spoke of interacting with clients’ happy and peaceful post-physical loved ones. But I only encountered angsty ones.
During this time, I had a lot of fears to face, and I had to seriously think through my religious and spiritual beliefs. I decided that, just like in all my healing, I would base all of my learning and experience on my relationship with God. Because I have always had a close relationship with God (at least, the one I knew who was always so different to me than the one that angry white men would speak of), even before I was old enough to be steeped in any religious tradition.
In a future post, I’ll go into more detail on my experience of God; my experience of God doesn’t reflect a stereotypical, gendered, patriarchal lens—and frankly, never did to me despite my religious upbringing. I’ll also go into some of the key beliefs I shifted to release, embrace, and those that are still up in the air for me. But that’s for another post.
About three or four months later, I was so thrilled to be able to have a session with Rachel Stavis, whom I have mentioned in other posts. I asked her why I could only see unhappy post-physical people or feel negative energies if loving energies exist. She explained that firstly, dead people cannot harm anyone. While negative entities can (a different topic), post-physical people cannot. She explained that secondly, the reason I was only seeing post-physical “jerks” (she used another word) is that I was just starting to open my spiritual sights, so I was seeing the people who had the most in-your-face energy.
I like metaphors, so I asked her if this was similar to if I were standing in a crowd, and an angry person was yelling and screaming, I would notice that person before I would notice the gentle, peaceful person standing off to the side. She confirmed that’s exactly what she was getting at. Here are the two most useful pieces of advice Rachel provided me, as it relates to mediumship:
- She gave me the 30-day homework that I’m always recommending people undertake to ensure that I got myself into solid, high vibration place that was free from fear. Fear draws the negative, and wasn’t serving me in a healthy way.
- She also said that if I didn’t want to engage with a dead person, just to be clear to them, “I’m not interested in talking to you right now. But if you come back at such and such a time, then I will help you.” She suggested I set up “office hours” to provide time to do that work.
Growth
I did immediately undertake the 30-day homework. It was transformational for me, and you can read about it in the post I wrote on it.
The advice to set up office hours was also incredibly valuable, because it provided a mechanism for me to set a clear boundary (and setting healthy boundaries is important in all aspects of life, as outlined in this other post); it also gave me the time and space to develop my mediumship abilities; and, perhaps more significantly, it allowed me to help people who were looking for help.
Initially, I held daily these office hours daily in the middle of my meditation. First, I would do the 30-day homework, then I would do some other meditation (whether concentrative or contemplative), then I would open my office hours and, one at a time, a post-physical person would come seeking help.
In another post, I’ll share a bit more about what I’ve learned from holding office hours to help people. Next, I’m going to share what it was like to “come out” as a medium.
Coming out
After two or three months of holding regular office hours, I knew there was something else I needed to learn or do next. I booked a session with a spiritually gifted person in Toronto, and she suggested that I do some “case studies” in which I would hold mediumship sessions with people so they could connect with their post-physical loved ones.
I developed an approach to starting the case studies, sent out an email to some friends, and began holding mediumship sessions. I learned a lot about how to structure these sessions and what works for me, and I was able to connect people to their loved ones.
As for how it felt to come out, I was nervous about losing friends. I was worried that people would think I was crazy, or wouldn’t take me seriously anymore. But I also knew without a shadow of a doubt what I was experiencing, and I also knew that the high quality folks who knew me and/or were open minded would stick around. Anyone who wasn’t ready to be in that place simply wouldn’t. And that’s okay. I would respect everyone’s choice.
As I continued to come out in person to friends whom I hadn’t included in my case studies email, each time I would be concerned I might not hear from them again or that they’d be affronted.
What actually happened is that many people were initially very surprised (particularly as people know me to be very pragmatic and down to earth—and I still am), and then many people would actually admit that an immediate family member also has spiritual abilities, or that they think they have abilities too but are afraid to even go there.
Of all the people I came out to (a couple dozen, at this point), only two people whom I had known for awhile, but hadn’t kept in regular touch with, seemed put off and haven’t communicated with me since. Am I upset by that? Absolutely not. Who they associate with is their choice. Does it feel a little sad? Yes, it does. And I also recognize that it truly is their choice. If they ever feel ready or interested to reach out again, I’ll look forward to continuing our relationships. But in the meantime, I don’t apologize for my abilities, just as I don’t apologize for any other skills and abilities I have in life.
My closest friends and my spouse have been very accepting. When I pointed out to my spouse the idea of how unexpected this all is, and how easy it would be for anyone to be really unaccepting of me now, he reminded me of the book The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis.
He reminded me of the chapter in which Lucy has emerged from the wardrobe, having experienced the magical land of Narnia. Lucy tells her siblings all that she experienced, but they think she’s lying or that she’s lost her mind. The siblings take the matter to the Professor, whom they think will write to their father if he thinks there’s something wrong with Lucy. Here’s an excerpt.
“Then he sat listening to them with the tips of his fingers pressed together and never interrupting, till they had finished the whole story. After that he said nothing for quite a long time. Then he cleared his throat and said the last thing either of them expected:
‘How do you know,’ he asked, ‘that your sister’s story is not true?’
‘Oh, but—’ began Susan, and then stopped. Anyone could see from the old man’s face that he was perfectly serious. Then Susan pulled herself together and said, ‘But Edmund said they had only been pretending.’
‘That is a point,’ said the Professor, ‘which certainly deserves consideration; very careful consideration. For instance—if you will excuse me for asking the question—does your experience lead you to regard your brother or your sister as the more reliable? I mean, which is the more truthful?’
‘That’s just the funny thing about it, sir,’ said Peter. ‘Up till now, I’d have said Lucy every time.’
‘And what do you think, my dear?’ said the Professor, turning to Susan.
‘Well,’ said Susan, ‘in general, I’d say the same as Peter, but this couldn’t be true—all this about the wood and the Faun.’
‘That is more than I know,’ said the Professor, ‘and a charge of lying against someone whom you have always found truthful is a very serious thing; a very serious thing indeed.’
‘We were afraid it mightn’t even be lying,’ said Susan; ‘we thought there might be something wrong with Lucy.’
‘Madness, you mean?’ said the Professor quite coolly. ‘Oh, you can make your minds easy about that. One has only to look at her and talk to her to see that she is not mad.’
‘But then,’ said Susan, and stopped. She had never dreamed that a grown-up would talk like the Professor and didn’t know what to think.
‘Logic!’ said the Professor half to himself. ‘Why don’t they teach logic at these schools? There are only three possibilities. Either your sister is telling lies, or she is mad, or she is telling the truth. You know she doesn’t tell lies and it is obvious that she is not mad. For the moment then and unless any further evidence turns up, we must assume that she is telling the truth.’ ”
(Excerpt from chapter five of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, book two of The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis, HarperCollins e-books).
Clearing up some key issues
Depending on your worldview or religious beliefs, you may accept that I believe that I am engaging with post-physical people, but you may have red flags arising. So let’s not beat around the bush.
The ability to see what I call “post-physical” (i.e. passed on) people does NOT mean I have a mental health issue.
There are, of course, people who have genuine mental health issues and may experience hallucinations, and for anyone who believes they may have a mental health issue, I encourage you to seek appropriate support.
However, the fact that a living person’s post-physical loved ones can show me simple items that mean nothing to me but are clearly of significance to the physical person, demonstrates these post-physical people are the real deal and that I’m indeed tuned into them.
For example, things like a wooden spoon, a pot of hearty soup, flowers in a vase, a gold pendant, pie crust, and a pin cushion have no meaning for me. They’re just random things. But when a physical person bursts into tears because their post-physical loved one showed me that specific thing because it means something to both of them, that’s not something that can be researched or made up, folks. That’s just the evidence.
The ability to connect with post-physical people does NOT mean I’m a devil worshipper or communing with evil spirits.
There’s a big difference between a post-physical person and a spiritual being (think God, angels or negative entities).
Although I have the ability to connect with God/Spirit/Source (as we all do), when I’m doing mediumship, I’m only talking to post-physical people.
Again, as in the previous issue, these post-physical people are clearly indicating who they are by showing me items and events that I can share with their still-physical loved ones.
For those who believe there are spiritual beings but that they’re bad spirits masquerading as good/neutral ones, I will address that in the next issue.
An anecdote to consider first. Back in the 90s, before there were all the latest currency/counterfeit technologies, law enforcement officers were trained to know what real currency was, studying real currency so they knew it through and through. If they knew what real currency was, then they would recognize counterfeit currency the moment they encountered it.
Navigating spiritual personalities is no different. Yes, it involves effort to develop yourself and to really know yourself. You can’t be in a place of sticking your head in the sand and simultaneously engaging with spiritual anybody and expect everything to go smoothly. You need to know yourself and how you feel, and how to feel out any situation, so that you immediately recognize the real from the counterfeit. You have to do your own hard emotional work so that you’re coming from your place of power in love.
Feeling afraid of the idea of engaging with any of the spiritual does not mean that all “spirits” are evil.
If you’re reading this and thinking that the fear is somehow related to engaging with “evil spirits” (this may be particularly acute for any religious folks hailing from a Christian background), I would also remind us all that “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”* Other translations finish the sentence with “…and this shows that we have not fully experienced [God’s] perfect love.”
No, this isn’t a sermon. I’m sharing it because the interesting thing is that this concept of truly experiencing real love, being in a place of love, being in a high vibration state, is now a common understanding in the energetic and spiritual fields. Regardless of religious beliefs.
As a reminder, the way that anyone, no matter your beliefs, can experience that perfect love is to do the 30-day homework. Read that post and you’ll see I’ve outlined ways for you to do the homework regardless of what your religious beliefs are—or aren’t.
Feeling afraid of the idea of engaging with or believing any of the spiritual does not mean you “have to” change your mind if you don’t believe in these things.
What you personally believe is your decision. You alone are responsible for your decisions. I’m not here to try to change anyone’s mind. And I’m not interested in proving anything, either.
I’m simply sharing my experiences so that others who have an inkling or private awareness of their spiritual abilities can know they’re not alone.
So they can know that someone they know who has their head firmly on their shoulders, their feet firmly planted on the ground, who has a stable and successful professional life in the corporate world, and has friends around them, has been there, done that.
Questions? Comments? And for anyone to whom I still hadn’t “come out” to for whatever reason—yep, Malumir’s a medium.
References
I am not being compensated to suggest these resources. These are in no particular order.
- The Medium in Manolos by Lauren Robertson.
- Psychic Intelligence: Tune In and Discover the Power of Your Intuition by Terry and Linda Jamison, the Psychic Twins.
- Second Sight by Judith Orloff